About This Series: Groups That Last
Too many small groups start with energy but fade within months—not because people are tired of community, but because they’re starving for spiritual depth. This series is about rethinking how we design and lead groups. Whether you’re a pastor, group leader, or just passionate about creating meaningful community, Groups That Last will give you a framework to build groups that are personal, purpose-driven, and built to multiply.
Read the series:
Part 1: Why Most Groups Fizzle (And How to Build One That Won’t)
Part 3: The Key Rhythms Every Healthy Small Group Needs
Stop Skipping Leg Day: Build Balanced Small Groups
One of the biggest reasons groups fizzle is because they’re one-dimensional. I see it all the time. Leaders launch a group around their spiritual strength. They’re passionate about prayer, so the group becomes all worship. They love Scripture, so it turns into a deep dive study. Or they’re highly relational, so it becomes mostly hangout time.
And none of those things are bad. In fact, they’re good. Really good.
The problem is when we stay there. When we assume that leading from our strength is enough. But that’s not leadership. That’s comfort. Leadership is about taking people where they wouldn’t go on their own.
If a group only ever does what one person is naturally good at, we end up creating spiritually imbalanced people. I like to compare it to the gym. You’ve probably seen someone who hits upper body day religiously, doing curls and pullups until their arms are huge. But they skip leg day week after week.
We call them “chicken legs.”
I think a lot of churches are unintentionally building Christians with chicken legs—bulk in one area, but completely underdeveloped in others.
The Five Biblical Purposes
To grow well spiritually, we need a balanced approach. That’s why I’m such a believer in the five biblical purposes outlined by Rick Warren in The Purpose Driven Church. These five purposes come straight from the Great Commandment and the Great Commission, and they serve as a foundation for spiritual growth:
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Worship – You were planned for God’s pleasure.
Loving God with all your heart and living a life that brings Him honor. -
Fellowship – You were formed for God’s family.
Connecting with others in authentic community, belonging to a spiritual family. -
Discipleship – You were created to become like Christ.
Growing spiritually, learning to follow Jesus, and being transformed over time. -
Ministry – You were shaped to serve God.
Using your gifts, time, and talents to serve others and make a difference. -
Evangelism – You were made for a mission.
Sharing your story and God’s love with others, both locally and globally.
When we ignore even one of these, we neglect a core area of spiritual formation.
The Tensions We Must Manage
It’s also about the tensions we hold as we lead groups:
Community vs. Curriculum
Intimacy vs. Inclusion
Community vs. Curriculum
Every healthy group has to navigate the tension between community and curriculum.
On one side, we want groups to be relational. People need to feel known, safe, and encouraged. They need space to be real. That’s community.
But on the other side, if we only stay in the relational zone, we risk becoming just another social club. People join groups because they want to grow. They want to learn more about Jesus. They want help living out their faith. That’s where curriculum comes in. Not as a classroom, but as a conversation.
Groups aren’t meant to feel like Sunday school. Rows and right answers. They’re circles, filled with trust, honesty, and the kind of challenge that leads to transformation.
Intimacy vs. Inclusion
Every healthy group also has to hold the tension between intimacy and inclusion.
The only reason you’re in your group right now is because someone opened their door and made space for you. That kind of invitation is rare in today’s world. We’re more isolated than ever, and meaningful relationships are harder to come by. So when people finally find them, there’s a natural instinct to protect them.
“This is mine. I don’t want to lose what I’ve found.”
But that’s not the way of Jesus. He calls us to open the circle, not close it. To make room. To love others the way we were first welcomed.
At the same time, if we focus only on being inclusive—always inviting, always expanding—we risk running so wide that we never go deep. Without intentional space to slow down and be vulnerable, groups stay surface-level.
Healthy groups do both. They create a core that’s intimate and real, while keeping a posture of invitation for others to join in. Jesus modeled this perfectly. He lived life closely with a few, while always leaving space for one more.
Leading With Balance
It’s not easy. But it is essential. Because we’re not just forming good vibes or weekly meetups. We’re forming people.
Some purposes lean more relational, like fellowship, ministry, and evangelism. Others lean more spiritual, like worship and discipleship. But none of them work in isolation. Relationship without growth stays shallow. Growth without relationship feels cold.
Jesus showed us the way. He built deep friendships while constantly including others and calling them forward.
So if your group is feeling flat, stuck, or short-lived, maybe the question isn’t “what study are we doing next?” Maybe the better question is, “Are we only working out one muscle group?”
We’ll never get groups that last by just building biceps.
💬 Discussion Questions for You and Your Team
Use these questions to reflect with your co-leaders, coaches, or fellow pastors:
1. Which of the five biblical purposes (Worship, Fellowship, Discipleship, Ministry, or Evangelism) do you naturally lead from, and which one is easiest to overlook?
2. How have you seen the tension between community and curriculum or intimacy and inclusion play out in your group? How are you currently managing it?
3. If your group feels stuck in one muscle group, what’s one step you could take this season to create more balance and growth?
Photo by Victor Freitas:
